This was an email I sent to a friend on a discussion we were having and I felt the need to share.

Getting back on track about our discussion, for months at my job so many woman over weight of all sizes and even slightly are and have had the gastric bypass all in the name no one likes fat people but at the end of the day it shouldn't be about being fat....it about changing your way of thought on who your are and who you want to become in the change like do a person want to stay on the road of over eating and live unhealthy or do someone want to change and eat a healthy living style because no matter how many surgery someone may have if you haven't change the enter being nothing has changed. 

Now when it come to what others think it shouldn't be about what your outside look likes it should be about the content of your heart and spirit, everyone is dysfunctional in kind some manner because we are born into sin period. 

Now men and so many of them could care less about the content of a woman's heart they care about looks, sex, money and status even some of the Christians ones but I feel you deserve what you want but don't get mad when it's not what you thought, you see not all women who are over weight are unhealthy or unhappy and all thin women are not healthy nor happy. 

For me in thought of relationships it should never be in thought that someone wants to find someone because they don't want to be alone! that whole concept of thinking is crazy!!! why should someone end up with this type of person thinking they are being love but it's not that, its for the convince you see that person is with you because they don't want to alone....Oh hell naw! or someone escaping one relationship claim to be looking for someone better but in truth they need to be better to get better or someone killing themselves to be thin just for the love of a man!!! Hell to the double naw!!! 

What happen to just simple goodness, love doesn't need 12 roses to prove something it only need 1 rose or a walk in the park or conversation or a good movie with good food and laughter, a theme park of just old fashion fun....respect and honest. And choosing the fat girl and saying you don't have to walk this journey alone see I love you for who you are but I want to be apart of who you want to be and where you're going see just simple.

Demi~

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!!!!


Thank you Lord for allowing us to see another Christmas Eve I am so very grateful, yes indeed!
Well let me say I have such great news (clapping hands).....Yesterday A sweet voice told me to get on the scale and I did and guess what I lost 8 wonderful pounds!!!!! (again clapping hands)...:-)
All from not eating meat and watching how I eat happy moment here and praying to stay focused and keeping it under control.
As a stress eater you have to learn not to allow things to get to you and that's something I have been working on for quit so time, like for instance people who do so little for you should never affect your thought process ever. Now, not that you feel ugly towards them in any kind of way but just know that's who they are and it's between them and God and that's it:-)
You know it's always best to pray about everything and that alone will help deplete a lot of the stress.
Now when meat is out your life man the smoothies are the most number one hit well at least for me it is!
Plus I love veggies I really do and you can find the best recipes online or just create some yourself!!
But there's a small down fall and its the gas and waste listen it goes on and on but that's the best thing in the world is the cleansing and for someone who has diverticulitis that's right up my alley:-))

I have so much to be thankful for because I know the cost of lost and our family just went through the thought that one of our member may have heart surgery but let me tell you that God is a mighty God and he heard our prayers and sent down mercy and grace and everything is find right now no surgery is needed and all I can say IS AMEN!!!
At my house today we are coming together in thanksgiving for the reason of the season and that's Jesus Lord!!!!  So please love one another, forgive, let go of all bitterness, pray and be thankful:-)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MANY BLESSINGS:-)))

demi~

Grateful Monday

So very thankful for another day!!! Amen:-)
This is day 10 I believe of no meat!!!!!!!! and I can't express to you how happy I am of that choice, I feel so good and the oils I have been using it's like I can't say in words how wonderful it's been to use these oils and I made homemade laundry soap with the Fels and OH MY GOODNESS this stuff works so good  it doesn't just clean my clothes it cleans my whole house! I can breath and my recovery was really fast after being sick once I started cleaning with the homemade soap.

Now as for me my stomach has went down so much from not eating any meat and this is no joke!
I feel like a million bucks plus is sooo much cheaper it also helps detox the body as well living the veggie life:-) I really feel different. As for Christmas it's going to be a seafood one....now I didn't give up seafood and I won't!
Progress for me more and more everyday I just love it and my reward trip for myself will be a week in Carmel just me myself and I:-) but who knows I am sure someone will want to follow maybe I'll take my grand girls with me I'll see! But I am due for a San Francisco trip soon with my grands and I can't wait!!

later
demi~

I can't wait until Monday my day off I have so much good stuff to tell and it's day 7 of no meat and it's the best thing I can do for myself:-))))

later
demi~
Happy weekend!!

Hello Monday


Well I have been out of commission since my last post the asthma monster have attack again so now I have to revamp my workout plan so I have started my vegetarian/seafood lover I refuse to give up seafood/ food plan so the first month of eating change habit and praying this asthma won't continue to trigger off.

It seen that it's going to be a veggie Christmas meal this year plus I am working day shift but I will do all my gifting on Christmas eve God says the same:-) I can say the Morning Star is the best for vegan meat it really is and I use it alot!! This is what hurts the doctor put my back on prednisone for like 2 weeks and this med cause weight gain but I need to breath and things will get better and I will be back on track in no time.
I need to go and prepare my shake I have learn hunger control is very important what I do now with my shakes I add protein power and instead of on pack of oatmeal I do two they are only 130 per pack in calories and it helps to keep me full. See fat people have fat stomach this is reality and you have to shrink the stomach so shakes with fullness will work and a balanced healthy meal in the evening and plenty plenty of water!!!

later
demi~

Another Happy Tuesday,


Starting my workout morning with water yes that's right water! It's a very important fact for weight loss and daily life. Plus a small breakfast because your body need this before any workout I say an hour before starting and mine starts at 9:00 am and it's 7:16 am right now! And I have a busy morning before work:-/

More info on the importance to drink water first thing in the morning

Energy

Drinking water, particularly early in the morning, has the reputation of being able to provide a variety of benefits, such as boosting your metabolism and helping you feel alert and refreshed earlier. Drinking water in the morning has likely acquired this reputation because virtually every system or function in your body requires water in order to work. For example, if you are dehydrated, you may well feel more sluggish and tired, and your digestion may work more slowly and inefficiently.

Toxins

It is primarily the job of your kidneys to eliminate various toxins and waste products from your system. However, ensuring that you maintain a high level of hydration at all times -- even early in the morning -- will not only help your kidneys function more effectively, but it can also actually help relieve the strain on your kidneys by flushing these waste products out of your system.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com

Eating and exercise: 5 tips to maximize your workouts

Knowing when and what to eat can make a difference in how you feel during your workouts. Here are five tips on eating and exercise to guide you.

By Mayo Clinic staff

Eating and exercise go hand in hand. When and what you eat can be important to how you feel when you exercise, whether it's a casual workout or a serious athletic competition.

Here are five tips for eating and exercise to help maximize your exercise and athletic performance. Just keep in mind that the duration and intensity of your activity will dictate how often and what you should eat and drink. Running a marathon demands more energy in the way of food than does walking two miles — but whatever your exercise, you'll benefit from paying attention to your meals and snacks.

1. Eat a healthy breakfast

If you exercise in the morning, get up early enough to eat breakfast — that may mean one to two hours before your workout. Most of the energy you got from dinner the previous night is used up by morning, and your blood sugar may be low. If you don't eat, you may feel sluggish or lightheaded when you exercise. If you plan to exercise within an hour after breakfast, eat a lighter breakfast or drink something to raise your blood sugar, such as a sports drink. Emphasize carbohydrates for maximum energy.

Good breakfast options include:

• Whole-grain cereals or bread
• Low-fat milk
• Juice
• Bananas

If you're not a fan of eating in the morning before you work out, try a sports drink or have a bigger bedtime snack the night before. And remember, if you normally have coffee in the mornings, a cup or two before your workout is probably OK. Just don't try any foods or drinks for the first time before a workout, or you risk an upset stomach.

2. Size matters

Be careful not to overdo it when it comes to how much you eat before exercise. The general guideline:

• Large meals. Eat these at least three to four hours before exercising.
• Small meals. Eat these two to three hours before exercising.
• Small snacks. Eat these an hour before exercising.

Eating too much before you exercise can leave you feeling sluggish, or worse, with a case of diarrhea or stomach cramps. Eating too little may not give you the energy to keep you feeling strong throughout your workout.

3. Snack well

Most people can eat small snacks right before and during exercise. The key is how you feel. Do what works best for you. Snacks eaten soon before exercise probably won't give you added energy, but they can help keep up your blood sugar and prevent distracting hunger pangs. Good snack options include:

• Energy bars or drinks
• Bananas or other fresh fruit
• Yogurt
• Fruit smoothies
• Whole-grain bagel or crackers with peanut butter
• Granola bars

A healthy snack is especially important if you plan a workout several hours after a meal.

4. Eat after you exercise

To help your muscles recover and to replace their glycogen stores, eat a meal that contains both protein and carbohydrates within two hours of your exercise session if possible. If you aren't hungry after your workout, drink juice or a sports drink to provide replenishing carbohydrates.

Good post-workout food choices include:

• Yogurt and fruit
• Peanut butter or meat sandwich
• String cheese and crackers
• Nuts and dried fruit
• A regular meal with meat, starch, and cooked vegetable or salad

5. Drink up

Don't forget to drink fluids to help optimize your exercise and workouts. You need adequate fluids before, during and after exercise to help prevent dehydration.

To stay well hydrated for exercise, the American College of Sports Medicine recommends that you:

• Drink roughly 2 to 3 cups (0.5 to 0.7 liters) of water during the two to three hours before your workout.
• Drink about 1/2 to 1 cup (0.12 to 0.23 liters) of water every 15 to 20 minutes during your workout. You may need more the larger your body is or the warmer the weather is.
• Drink roughly 2 to 3 cups (0.5 to 0.7 liters) of water after your workout for every pound (0.5 kilogram) of weight you lose during the workout.

Water is generally the best way to replace lost fluids. But if you're exercising for more than 60 minutes, use a sports drink. Sports drinks can help maintain your body's electrolyte balance and give you a bit more energy because they contain carbohydrates.

Let experience be your guide

When it comes to eating and exercise, everyone is different. So pay attention to how you feel during your workout and your overall performance. Let your experience guide you on which post-exercise eating habits work best for you. Consider keeping a journal to monitor how your body reacts to meals and snacks so that you can tweak your diet for optimal performance.

And don't let anyone put pressure on you about getting weight off this is your journey and that's how I feel because anyone who can only see your outside isn't worth 1 moment of you time. I believe this is why so many men and women get in jacket up relationships because they are more concerned about the outside then what's on the inside just because someone maybe over weight doesn't mean they are broken on the inside! So let your weight loss be about you and your health and ignore stupid people!

later

demi Hugs & Blessings~    

Sunday Dec 1st
The first day of my 30 treadmill challenge!

Day 1 completed thank God! I am going to follow as much as I can the veggie food plan with the help of my smoothies and protein shakes!!! and tons of water!!

On Jan 1st God says the same it will be the start of the 30 day abs challenge I'm going to need pray on this one:-)!!! and just keep it going I won't weigh in until May in Jesus precious mighty Name!!!
Going to focus on my love for Christ and my Heavenly Father above and then self love and positiveness for one-self and others:-)

Later with love
demi~

Enjoy:-)

Friday after Thanksgiving!

Oh what a great day it was! I first worked day-shift and got home at about 5 pm but I had prepare most of the food the day before and my daughter finished off the rest thanksgiving day and everything was delicious I did low calories on everything but the yams and my yam will make you slap somebody:-))) the meal was Cornish hens that are 200 calories per one cooked in spices and Marmalade sauce which is only 49 calories per tablespoon and it was the freaking bomb!! green beans and potatoes I didn't put bacon and they were awesome white rice and only 1 cup per plate and the lowest calorie rolls I could find and I did! So it was so good and I didn't feel all yucky after this meal like I would with the regular thanksgiving meal because with that meal you don't count calories nor do you count fat and I am so happy I did this, plus I made a low calorie pie the bomb:-)))))))))) ( I call it marble delight)  and you can bet your last million I will do a low calorie meal for Christmas as well!

I am grateful for the people who are encouraging me on the weight loss. It's is really a mental thing and you must fix your thinking in order to do what you need to do to get the weight off and keep it off. It's a struggle and the support system can help so much. Time for prayer time:-)

later
demi~

A new Sunday and no looking back!


Well I have already start getting my oils and last night I made a homemade shampoo again but with only oils I used olive oil, almond oil, eucalyptus oil and rosemary oil.....now I should have done a baking soda rinse first but forgot but anyway I did the oils and let them sit in for like 40 min and I massaged my scalp then got into the shower and rinsed. Now this morning my scalp feels good and I didn't have alot of hair loss and so very happy about that! OH and Wen have the same type of oils in the all natural one and they don't use any type of soap.

Yesterday evening I stuff Christmas stocking for my grands and I didn't eat one candy...yes yes yes for me!!!
It's a proud moment and I didn't even crave it this detox is working:-) I found a new used book store and I got so many books for dirty cheap I got one on 20,000 secrets of teas:-)....plus 4 or 5 books on diabetic recipes now I am not a diabetic but the recipes are low in calories and they are really balanced and they were so cheap because just 1 of these books are like 18 bucks at Barns & Nobles and I bought these for like 4 bucks a piece!!! love a good bargain:-)

I have decided to be more selfish when it comes to myself, no more open door to my life to others now I'm not doing this to be mean or anything like that I just need to set hard boundaries on others because folks will try and push all their issues and problems onto your life and I have my own stuff and yes it's depends on what's going on but for bull crap I don't have time for that nonsense! I have prayer time first and me time then work time and then I have to check on the grown children and check on the grand children so who in the world have time for other people foolishness not me. I just feel if it isn't anything positive or to help others then they need to bypass me. This life is about God's will, striving to be better and better each and everyday and making a good difference in the lives of other people rather its through your work, neighborhood a stranger a cause a shelter or nurturing or whatever something.

Man I looked up and sure had a lot to say today...:-)

  later
demi~
:-)

 

Saturday from scary to great!


Well right now I just need to vent last night I had a horrible and I mean horrible dream. It was about the great man I mention before I dreamed that one min I was talking to him face to face with such a great smile then I went back again to where he was and this strange man was pretending to be him and had caused him great danger, I woke up crying and so hurt I started praying mighty hard for God's protection and I would never tell him this but I sent him a prayer this morning.

The thought of it hurts me so bad I wish I could build a strong wall around him but I am through my constant prayers to the Heavenly Father, we truly have to stay in prayer for one another because the devil never sleeps. I can't allow my feeling to be out of order because you lose sight of God's plan because the most important thing is to be that prayer warrior and pray, pray, pray.





Prayer for Guidance and Protection.


Hallelujah Jesus, Praise You . We glorify You and we You thanks

We give you thanks for this day and for all the blessings and graces who bestowed upon us.

We pray that you forgive us with our shortcomings to You, with our loved ones and to others.

Jesus, bless us today, our families and friends. Give us the strength, we lean on you, Lord Jesus for our provisions, for our needs. Clothe us with your guidance and blessings and cover us with your Precious blood for protection.

Lead the way of your children, our Lord and our Savior.

Grant us what is best for us. 

In the name of Jesus. Amen and amen.


Blessings

later
demi~

In my feelings Tuesday!!!!


I woke up so emotional this morning all in my feelings with the weight struggle, my feelings about that someone (WM) and yes I am beating myself up about why I like him so much dammit what's my problem hell I don't want to be hurt again I really don't, I don't think I'm even his type!!! yes he feels I'm sweet but everyone say's that I just need to keep praying because I don't want to fall for someone and that's not God's will for my life. And at the end of the day I'm in my feelings and he's not at all because I have been there before and that person wasn't worth one single moment of my God giving time.

I just want to stay home and hide out and watch movies and cuddle with my doggies:-) thinking the detoxing has me acting crazy my emotions are all over the place! but hoping it will past soon!!! It's time for a protein shake! but my detox book is right on point and I see how the wrong foods can affect your moods and enter spirit that's just wild to me you just never realize how food can have such a huge impact on your life. Well my reward for my first weight goal will be back to Camel for a weekend and to hike along the beach area but if God says the same that will be after the first of the year:-)) I need to stay focused on myself and my goals:-) And God will take care of the rest!!

Later
demi~

A tiring off Monday,

Well its been a cozy lazy day for me I am now getting ready to go have dinner with my daughter then off to the movies:-) I haven't done one thing today but it's OK ups and downs but here it my progress so far in my fat struggle.

No makeup and tired! and fighting not to gain anymore weight back!!!

But I am having one of these days

I am out...
later
demi~

Emotional Friday,



Well I guess I want to say I'm past pissed but cool.....OK this what happen one of the people in the weight loss challenge remember had weight loss surgery well I know now she isn't whom she pretends to be. See on Facebook there are avatar you can have for fun well I have one and I found her's and did a cartoon of us giving each other high five....now I didn't make her avatar so she sees it on my page and calls me and say's you made my avatar fatter then you now did you read this! ( you made my avatar fatter then you) I am like I have been losing weight and not with any type of surgery! I have said it over and over again folks need to watch their mouth and listen to the words before speaking them!!!!!!

Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for. -Marian Wright Edelman

Beautiful quote!
Now I'm not perfect and I'm not where I want to be but I'm not where I use to be!!!
and it took tears, sweat and struggling to get here.
But I want to thank her because I am good, I can show you better then I can tell you:-)

It's early morning almost 3am listing to meditation smooth music and for some reason I have had this someone on my mind for weeks but that's because I'm in like, now I have never met him in person but he's on my Facebook for like 2 yrs now or more he's smart, sweet and Godly:-) but he does live in the same state I live in! and we have exchanged number a long time ago and we text but he doesn't have a clue how I feel and when we text it's sweet friends only:-) well now I feel better saying this to someone or just saying it. But I will never over step my bound because he would have to pursuit me Gods word says Proverbs 18:22..."

He that hath found a good wife, hath found a good thing, and shall receive a pleasure from the Lord. I need to go to bed I am just talking to much...lol Later demi~

FREEDOM IS NOT FREE!

HAPPY VETERANS DAY....THANK YOU!!!!!

IT'S TIME TO BE ON IT Saturday!

Well today I went to the renaissance fair and it was wonderful I truly loved it!!!
And I stuffed my face got home and ate the rest of the peppermint ice cream so this was it and now I am starting my detox back full blown and getting my shit together!
Tonight will be a very hot shower in a salt scrub then rinses off in cold water it does so much including getting rid of plenty waste. Right now I am listen to soft meditation to prepare my body for the shower or you can do a bath but I want to be relax before entering the shower. Body cleansing can take off alot of weight I know someone they did the detoxing and she loss 75 pound from doing it but you must be wise about it and eat very healthy.
OK off I go lifetime word DETOX:-)
Later

demi~

   

Friday Madness!

It has be a weird day, now it's my day off and I have been getting stressed for these grown kids!!! working my last good nerve. I have been a stress eater for years that's why my butt is the size it is!!! but I have been working a long time not to be that way and today is very successful Thanking God!!! not putting crap in my mouth:-)

OK I was challenged to a weight loss dual and I excepted it there are 5 of us and 1 is a cheater because she had weight loss surgery but whatever. Talk about giving a girl some motivation I love a challenge and they have been talking plenty of crap and there's money involved so I am working hard to get this weight off! Protein shakes and salad!!! and of course the treadmill:-) I am praying all goes well!

I am ready for battle and no backing down from me ever!...OFF TO WAR:-)  

I AM A SPARTIAN!!

Wonderful Saturday-)


Yesterday was my day trip and OH BOY Camel is such a beautiful place I'm so in love yes I am!!
The place is mind blowing just awesome and a very romantic spot to if your with a special someone, I'm just saying but I this was a girl trip for me and I have no special someone well I do in my heart but he's doesn't know I would never say a word unless he showed interest because in the past I have spoke my feels and I have loss in the end. A woman should never speak her feeling first because if it's for you God will place that man and he will speak his intention and that's my personal feeling:-) now enough of that!

I walked 4 miles or more yesterday in Camel and I'm not as sore as I thought I would be now I did eat very rich food but I only at once and that was more then enough food for the day I could only get half down and that was it. And there were so many fit people there I felt like the pear in a barrel of toothpicks!...lol  But it was good motivation for my spirit I want to go back soon and do some hiking that's a great motivation for me and a exciting thought:-) This fat struggle is an up hill battle but I will never give up nor take the easy way out and never be ashamed of who you are and where your at in the struggle for a healthier you because you have to love who you are now to get where you want to be:-))

A small piece of Camel:-))

demi~

 

Relaxing and detoxing Thursday:-)


Well I have been a very sick person but thanking God I feeling so much better! on Tuesday I got out of the house and met up with my sister we got some good old sun and it was such a beautiful day and we had a great sister and friend day together! love my God given moments with my sister:-)
I had a wonderful bacon maple cupcake OH MY MY so very delicious, I got a chance to talk with the owner and he say's it's his own recipe!!!

Today is all about relaxing and detoxing and skin softening, detoxing should helping with my wellness and clean out my system from the last of this crap. Now for the skin softening for me coconut oil is the best but other may prefer something different it's up to the individual. As for lunch it will be top ramen noodle salad with healthy goodies! and this is the best for this kinda day.

I'm excited day-trip tomorrow in Jesus Mighty Name, Amen!!!  Praying for safe travels in our coming and goings myself and a great friend from work she's a wonderful person and we both need to have a fun day.
Now I have been noticing this for a long time,why do some folks feel that because you are over weight and single that you don't have a life.....that has got to be some crazy thinking but these kinda folks have real issues and I mean very real. In this struggle you learn so much about people an even the ones you call friend.

My favorite time of the Year:-)
demi~

Drive by Tuesday!

I'm sick!!!! I got my flu shot over a week ago and of course I am sick....I so love how they say the flu shot don't make you sick.....REALLY!!! I work in the medical field!

Any who yesterday I finally go my treadmill home because the uhaul tried to cheat me after I made the arrangements over the phone and they changed my pick up location for the truck to get me to pay for more mileage and I ain't got time for that!!! So I found another way:-) and it didn't cost me one penny:-)

I don't feel good enough to do a workout today but this to shall past:-) Thanking God  that I will be off for a total of 11 day!!!!!!!!! starting the 25th...HA how you like me now!!!
So this woman will get better and hop on the treadmill like a crazy manic:-)))
I just refuse to give up and allow myself to gain what I have lost I just can't keep making that same mistake so it ain't over until the skinny lady sing! Now for me it's going to be a broth week  just get some broth and add the coleslaw mix and simmer it's so good and filling and the cabbage helps get the fluid off and the broth helps clean your system out but also drink plenty of healthy fluids best way to get your body on the right track being sick.

later demi~

New day Monday!

Well first let me start off by saying I believe my dogs are 5150's this morning! they are running in here like 2 wild beastly animals unknown to mankind...LOL

In this struggle of fatness don't allow anyone to rain on your parade because whatever someone may say or how they act has nothing to do with you it's all about who they are and what they think of themselves. Weak spirited folks work overtime to be ugly to others but that's their battle not yours and always remember that:-)
I just needed to get that off my chest because at the end of my day my reactions is about me not them.

On the 14th I finally get to bring my treadmill home I just decided to rent a uhaul because I'm not good with asking people for anything it's just easier for me not to. So its all's good thanking my Heavenly Father above amen!!! OK I got my jujitsu gi but I can't get my fat butt into it so I need to order a new one for the fat booty people...LOL hey it is what it is right now!!!  As for myself I feel working out at home is best for me, I hate going to the gym alone don't know why this is one of my weakness I truly can't stand it and will never waste my money again because folks get you all worked up saying they will go and they don't keep their word so no more of that foolishness!!!!!!

I am done with so call walking partners and workout partners not ever again if I can help it, it's just to much of a let down plus it set you in a mind frame of discouragement. Now I'm not here to judge the motives of other but I do have to lookout for my own personal well being this is my journey blessed by God and it's all about he and I and he's my ever lasting partner in this journey:-))  
I'm off today with much to do later.

demi~

Sick Friday:-(

Oh I have been ill, when back to work yesterday and was sick the whole time but thank God I got through my shift!!!! My doctor put me on antibiotics and yes I finished them all but the whole time very very nausea and on the last day of the meds I stayed in the rest room all day long. Now after all of that I thought I could eat like a tuna sub and it all came up!!! this doesn't make me a happy camper at all but it's taking more weight off and you can't beat that right!

So this morning I am starting my food day with broth and that's on the menu all day oh and least not forget the water:-) I been thinking I have food abused my body for over 20 something years.....I was a stress eater and I felt no one could control what I ate and it's my business and at that time I had not a clue I was hurting my own-self but as you get older you pay the cost.
Just praying I will get better and my bowl rest so I can feel better, so no matter where you are in the fat struggle think about what you can do to make your body inside better to feel better.

later
demi~

HAVING A MOMENT.

My shoes are waiting, when you think you know who I am, where I am coming from, how I am to think, what I need to say, where I should be going, what I should be eating, how I lead my day, how I deal with my children, how I deal with my family, what I should face from my past or who I chose to deal with. My shoes are waiting.

demi~

MY MY MY!!!!

Today is really a happy Tuesday I got my braces off yes indeed!!!!
Now these retainers I will need to get use to but I am free!! I can now eat all the raw foods I want and that's without the retainers in:-)))
This is really going to boost me up to a higher level in my struggle for weight loss, I am so excited and I am in the mix of cutting up some raw veggies for my lunch for work.....Oh happy day:-)
I also went and sign up for Brazilian jiu jitsu and praying they don't beat up this old lady...lol
This is another way to help me with the weight struggle and I learn another way to protect myself.
Now if you can't afford to pay for yourself to go to any type of martial art class you can usually fined free classes at neighborhood centers you just have to do a little research to fine it. Well this weekend biggest struggle is going have to find someone to help me bring my treadmill to my home people say they will help but it's never to be expected because if they do thank you lord for the blessing and I am very grateful but if not oh well.

demi~  

What a very long week it has been! Thank God for his mercy and grace and guidance protection each and everyday.
Now I find out it's not good for my back nor my knees to walk on the concrete so I found a almost brand new treadmill for 100 bucks and I am get a small flat screen for the bedroom to put right in front of this treadmill and stick a walking DVD in there and get my walking in!!! (I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED)  where there's is a will there's is a way.
I think I will pick myself up another sweatsuit they help out a lot and it's all good because it's safer in my home to walk the treadmill it really is. I know these freaking health problems comes from years of begin over weight and I am disappointed in myself for playing around with my health but now I am going through it just to get the weight down it's going but slowly......just need to keep a positive outlook in demi's world:-)

demi~

Tuesday how you doin!

Of course it's hot as a merry-go-round that never stops!! And lets not forget an unexpected visitor....WHAT IN THE HELL IS GO ON!!! Why do folks think they can just drop by.......this is not in my handbook for dealing with people! Because my home policy says you must call before attempting to come to my home.

I am late on my daily routine I need to eat some breakfast Oh by the even thought I haven't been walking everyday because of my eating habits I am still losing weight:-) isn't that MARVELOUS!

You know I believe the donuts was a setup because the more I think about it this person has never  brought donuts before ever, but same old thing when you make personal or physical change in your life there will always be people who feel as if it's a personal attack against them and these folks need help. But at the end of my day it won't hurt me, but maybe she did it with good intent but I trust no one and everyone always have a motive rather is good or not.
This is my feelings I think like this if I have betrayed myself and yes we all have in many ways then no one can live up to those standards nor 100 percent trust and I have no expectation of no one not even myself because we are imperfect people so for me you will never know what someone will do never.    

 demi~

Mondays I often wonder way people complain about this day but I won't do it I am happy to still be in the land of the living:-) I worked two 16 hr shifts on Saturday and Sunday now I should be in bed but I have been up cleaning and I need food in my tummy!
Well one of my coworker have been walking for like a year now and she's up to 9 miles a day plus she lost all her weight I am so happy for her talk about a blessing to reach for that goal and you make it happen! :-))))

Well as for me Olympus has Fallen!   A coworker brought in (DONUTS) yes and I had 4 I tried to fight it but I was tricked and fooled, that's right that's the story and I ain't changing a word:-)  Now the weather is perfect for walking and my body moved to clean but not to go for my walk!!!! I will make it happen tomorrow I am aiming for 4 miles praying these knees will not fail me. It's so time for breakfast....

demi~

Welcome Thursday because what was up with crazy Wednesday!

I don't understand why would my weight loss have any affect on someone's life, are some folks so unhappy within their life circle that another person personal life changes would be such a drastic change in the world they live in!!!! REALLY!

It's simple, bitter angry people just don't want to see anyone happy! it's that simple and Oh how very sad to live this way everyday of your life. To love on any level can make such a huge inside and outside change, if some folks would only allow the goodness of change:-)  Well I am so tired today I haven't did anything but eaten breakfast man I wish I was more driven but some days this fat girl says just screw it but that's today and I know tomorrow will bring a better change for me, I am just living a moment in the ups and down of a fat person's struggle.


demi~

Well back to work and thank God for a job, now I love my off days but I love back to business!!

Today I made sure to eat my breakfast I ate like 550 cals this morning not to hunger so I forced it in order not to jack up my food pattern, I have to stay on course.
Didn't sleep to well because I watched this movie on Netflix called (Listen to your Heart) and I cried so much that there was tissues everywhere plus the effect of the movie woke me up a couple of times doing the night! I had just thought it was going to be a sweet love story but, OH my goodness I felt like the world was falling apart in this movie....I really need to stop doing this to myself just so freaking emotional.

Going to do some meditation in another hour for relaxation and breathing it's really good for the body and really good for me:-) Stretching is also apart of this meditation time for me I feel so much better afterwards.
Well I have to prepare my dinner for work and a healthy smoothie for lunch plus a nap:-)

demi~

    

Happy Tuesday!!
I did a 2 mile walk this morning and boy was I in some knee pain but I did it....woo-whoooo!
But there's bad news I didn't eat breakfast like I should have and after my walk I was out and about and got hunger and had 2 honey buns:-/ well that's the cost of not staying on top so I get back up and keep going.
I think its hard to talk about our ups and downs when we want to succeed so much.....when we are working so hard to get to our goal the last thing you need is someone disapproving look saying you still trying to loss weight.
This is one of the reason I don't want to deal with someone in my life because I don't want to hear someone say anything to me about my weight, I am the only one who can fit that. And its hard to met someone who willing to go the extra mile and go walk with you or exercise, hell they want you to come package fit body ready. But not all men are that way it's just hard to run into them.

demi~

  

It's the beginning of a new week and thank you Jesus, I had my second Chiropractic appointment this morning I bit sore but better I don't go back until the end of the month.  I have increased my biotin from 5000 mcg to 10,000 mcg I feel being a over weight person it will help me get the job done. I think I needed to reevaluate my daily intake on my supplements and multivitamins because in order for this to work everything must be balanced....no balance not control then things are all out of order.
Today breakfast cal was 670 pretty close to the mark! OH boy I have good news by the end of the month the braces will be off and I can finally have all the raw foods I want to eat!!!!!! the whole time I have had these braces on it's been nothing but pain I can't wait to get them off!:-)))
Well time for a nap:-)

Demi~

Saturday, huh I am grateful.....well yesterday I went to my first chiropractic appointment and yes I am jacked up!!!! before he can do any work on me I have to use Bio-freeze for 3 days and 3 times a day to soften up the muscles and tendons last night was the first usage and my daughter sprayed it on to my lower back area and it worked like a charm.  I have been having pain in my back for the longest and with the arthritis knees I just needed to go to someone who's going to help me so I can walk better and longer to get this freaking weight off!
I start up good then get some ponds off then all hell break lose. I want to run marathons for different cause right here in my own town and I want to do it with success. I know I have gain a few pounds back but I am on the right track for permanent weight lose I know I will be back at it in no time.

Demi~

First day back to work am I'm happy its been 3 weeks of vacation and maybe I should have went to an island somewhere I am sure it would have been much peaceful!

 I didn't walk today either because even though my knees feel much better they are not ready just yet but my neighbor will start with me on the 22th so I am praying I will be good to go!! I bet I will never compromise my walk again! I went to my last walking partner home to walk in her neighborhood and the sidewalk was jack up so bad that the walk was off leveled and this is what started the pain to act up again in my Knees.

But any-who for this morning breakfast I got the calories up to 630 almost to 700 very close. Yesterday's BF filled me up big time that for lunch I ate half the sandwich my daughter made for me and for dinner one fish fillet and salad it works for me very well plus I always drink a gallon of water a day and lots of fiber because keeping the bowel flow moving is a must for me.  I deal with diverticulitis and I have had only one flare up which was my first one and I don't want to have an bad issues with this because it can cause a very bad outcome. Sometimes it take the bad things to set you straight on what you need to do:-)

Demi~

Happy Wednesday

Well it's 9:22 and its been a successful morning!!! my neighbor offered to walk in the morning with me at least 3 times a week and I thank God because it had crossed my mind to ask her but we don't know one another like that but God had showed it to me before hand:-))) I am a happy camper. Don't want to get deep in conversation is what I explain to her and we just put our earphones on and walk it! Plus I am going to buy my bike this week I think......My knees are feeling better today and back to work tomorrow! I am sure once I get back to work things will fall back to normal. I Think you would have to live like a hermit in order for life to almost be untouchable in so parts of it.

This morning I went back to 700 cal breakfast because when I eat a good healthy breakfast it works for me I have no cravings at all in the later part of the day, I did this before and then went to smoothies for breakfast and lunch but I get cravings and I can't have that I refuse to gain weight I have lost!! Let me say I am sick of that roll-coaster!!!!! weight up and down that crap has being going on for years and its my fault for not educating myself years ago and not having the self worth to change it, I had allow my past to mentally beat me up and wasn't willing to except good changes for my life. But life is so much different then it use to be for quit sometime now and thanking God for the many blessing of strength, understanding, his love for me and so much more:-))).  Well it's an hour later from the start of this blog, see I am helping my child get ready for her first job!!! yeah I am almost in tears and so happy for her she 22 and have been trying to get a job forever so her lunch is ready and she needs to leave soon to catch the bus to get there! riding the bus will keep her focused to save her money to buy a cheap car to get from point A to point B feel me.

later Dem~

Tuesday struggle!

Well for the past 2 days the arthritis in my knees are so acting up and the left knee has truly lost it so I can't really do much when this happens. This has been one crazy kinda vacation you just won't believe the weird things that has occurred and by the grace of God back to work on Thursday!!! AMEN!.....Well my walking partner has failed through once again! it started out good but people are people and oh well I did expect this to happen but that's their choice not mines, but I will never give up no matter what may arise because through Christ I can do all things and come out in victory:-))  Can't wait until it get much cooler I am an outside person I don't like to be closed up and I don't like being around strangers so the gym is getting free money but I will go back...hey don't judge me....so I won't walk early in the morning alone just not safe but once it get cooler I will be good to go in mid-day and back to work I can walk on my lunch break as always!

later Demi~

Well I feel this is a way to tell my struggle in this freaking weight loss that has been going on for half my life! No really!!! But as you get older it has it's difficult moments, I have asthma that when I get ill with it the meds put some of the weight right back on! I am just so sick and tired of it but I will not give up!!! Now in this struggle journey people always say's can I walk with you and exercise but at the end of the day they are full of bologna! these folks became a stumbling block it's about them wanting to be apart of a change but your change not their own and things can't progress in this nature so I am focusing on what I need to do and doing non-responds to the bull crap!

So today no working out it's Sunday I will be back on it tomorrow, for lunch it's baked brown sugar turkey and having it with salad:-))
 

Smiles

Demi!